Do you ever notice that you will work hard at something for someone else? Why is it that you can be dedicated to do something you are good at when you are working for someone else? You will work day in and day out, and study to perfect your craft, for whatever it may be, to climb the ladder to achieve a status for some kind of outside validation. But challenge yourself to to that very thing with the same level of dedication and you run out of steam. You become too tired. One reason may be that you are putting that energy toward things outside yourself. Take me for example, I write for a living and I’m supposed to be writing for pleasure on a daily basis… but.. I won’t finish it there because it will just be an excuse that I shouldn’t give legs to move. So what are you doing? Are you pouring all your energy into pursuits that benefit others? or Are you pouring into yourself by giving yourself time to replenish? Seek to do things that give you joy and serve as a vehicle where you can get lost. This will leave you feeling energized and then the fruits of your labor will sprout, grow, and expand. You will reap what you sow. Don’t sow all your seeds into something that doesn’t feed your joy. Your experience will be nurtured by the thoughts and actions you are fed. You are in control. Remember to be kind to yourself.
Random Thoughts
Random Thoughts shares a peek inside the inner works, strange thoughts, and various viewpoints from my random observations… the result of the spinning wheels of my sometimes offbeat perspective on things that make me go hmm!
Communication Etiquette: How do you handle overstepped boundaries from an unsolicited exchange?
I went to physical therapy yesterday. During the prep time for my session, the therapy assistant pointed out that my glasses were thick. A violation – yes. My prescription is very strong and the frames that I have make that fact not so noticeable. She had to be staring really hard at me to notice the thickness of my lenses. Unfortunately I’ve been wearing glasses since I was 9 years old so my strong prescription is just a side effect of that. I’ve come to terms with it and don’t see why it’s anyone’s concern. Anyhow, she proceeds to ask me why they are so thick and what my prescription is. Ah hem.. excuse me.. last time I checked I wasn’t here for an optometrist visit and was here to receive treatment for my back sprain and spasms following a car accident. So I didn’t know her expertise crossed over into eye wear and eye care. 
Being the nice, pleasant, personable person that I am, I didn’t directly address it. She didn’t quite catch on to my unappreciative facial expressions and other nonverbal cues that communicated that she was overstepping a boundary. Also my short and curt verbal responses didn’t stop her from asking me why I don’t wear contact lenses. Maybe I don’t want to wear contact lenses; or maybe you should just mind your bees wax as we used to say as kids. I didn’t know my glasses were offensive to anyone and in my whole entire life of wearing glass as a child and now as an adult, I have never had a stranger ever say anything insensitive to me about my glasses, which nonetheless were a stylish frame, before. So what pressed this stranger on this day? I don’t know. I never had her assist me before. I chose to let it go but realized later on that it’s still on my mind. I did not take offense because, as an individual, my style and the way I dress is not predicated by unsolicited opinions. However, I’m actually disturbed by how people feel that they have the right to address you personally on topics and things and try to impress their opinion upon you about what you should do about something that doesn’t or shouldn’t concern them.
How do you stop someone from crossing boundaries they have no right to overstep? This seems to happen all the time whether it’s a family member, a friend, an acquaintance and apparently strangers like to get their say in from time to time too! Perhaps it’s in the interest of starting a conversation or sharing thoughts that they feel would benefit you. I could directly confront the person but in this case how could I have responded better so that it establishes a clear boundary and allows me to not feel violated by an inappropriate exchange? Instead of brushing it off and deflecting her questions, perhaps I could have responded with the following:
1. Ask- “ Why are you taking such an interest in my glasses?”
2. Say- “ I’d rather not discuss this subject with you.”
3. Ask – “Why do you want to know?”
4. Say – “I don’t appreciate your comment. Let’s talk about something else.”
Often people don’t realize that they are being rude or overstepping boundaries. Ultimately it’s up to you to establish a protective space around yourself and let others know how best to interact with you in an appropriate way.
How would you have handled this situation?





